


The Day the World Began

by FelonyBell



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person Limited, Slow Build, season 4, season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelonyBell/pseuds/FelonyBell
Summary: After the world stopped Liesel Madison tried everything she could to hold onto life she had finally built for herself, but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, they slip away anyways. Now she's trying to put the pieces back together and find a reason to keep surviving. She just wasn't expecting for it to come in the form of blue eyes and torn sleeves.





	1. Them

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first Walking Dead fanfiction! I haven't written or posted anything in about 4-5 years so I'm slightly rusty and nervous. This will be a 'post as I finish each chapter' type of story with the goal of posting once a week but don't hold me to that because deadlines make me itchy. This work is unbeta'd but read through numerous times. Any suggestions or constructive criticism are welcomed!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead.

Before the world ended Liesel Madison had a job she loved, a cat named Nora, and a small studio apartment in an equally small outskirt town of Washington D.C.. She had a routine she lived by—wake up at 4 am, go on a five mile run, shower, eat, be in the office by 7 am, come home around 6 pm, read, eat, go to bed, repeat. It was mundane. But, it was what she had fought so hard to build for herself in the 33 years she'd been alive. Then the dead decided it'd be great to start reanimating and eating people. Honestly, it wasn't very considerate.

Now, a year and a half later, she lived in a large gated community with solar power and a big fancy house that was way too big for one person. Her mother would be so proud of her if she saw her now. She still had her routine if that was any consolation, just instead of going to her own office she'd walk to the building they had made into a clinic before Liesel even knew Alexandria was a thing. And if she sometimes got tired of the routine and snuck out when no one was looking, nobody could really blame a girl, right?

Liesel was leaning against a tree a few miles from the town's gates waiting for the car and RV to drive past her to catch a ride. She was almost positive she was going to be greeted with a look and shake of the head of disapproval when she got into the passenger seat of the car but he'd still let her ride along. He always did.

She could feel a light sheen of sweat already building from the hot sun, making her hair stick to the back of her neck. They hadn't had rain in at least two weeks making everything dry and even more miserable than usual. Liesel pulled her long, curly hair into a messy bun that sat high on top of her head sighing in instant relief as a light breeze caressed her neck. She knew that for convenience purposes she should cut it but it had taken years for her black hair to finally reach her waist. She figured she'd given up enough for those walking dead assholes she could keep this one thing.

A smile spread across her face as the vehicles came over the hill. Liesel pushed off the tree walking onto the asphalt, the thick soles of her combat boots making a clacking sound against the road. The car slowed down as the driver rolled the passenger side window down. Aaron didn't disappoint as she leaned down, his head shaking and eyes squinting.

"Fancy meeting you here, stud," she winked, a smile growing on her lips. Liesel waved at the RV getting a smile and wave back from Eric.

"What're you doing, Lee?" Aaron asked bringing her attention back to the blue car in front of her. Liesel hated the nickname. Had ever since she met him in the middle of a herd but once a guy saves your ass you kind of let it slide.

"Coming with." The duh not needed to be said between the two, he knew her too well.

"Did you ask Deanna?" Liesel laughed as she got into the car, throwing the bag she kept in the closet closest to the front door of her house in the back seat.

"Do I ever?"

"Liesel," Aaron sighed, turning his head back towards the road. This is how it always played out. He'd act upset, she'd bat her eyelashes, he'd give in. Easy peasy! "Fine."

"Aw," she leaned over, grabbing the side of his head, and kissed his cheek, "you're the best friend a girl could have."

Aaron put the car in drive, speeding away from her tree, Eric following behind in the RV. Liesel could feel her shoulders get lighter and lighter with each mile between her and Alexandria. It's not that she didn't appreciate the safety that she was offered it was just hard to get used to after spending time on her own. She still had nights she woke up scared, not knowing where she was, then she remembered Aaron and Eric driving in to help her and she could relax a little. She could never go back to sleep on those nights though.

"So where're we heading, oh, capi-tan," Liesel drummed her fingers against her leg, the other hand out the window.

"No where in particular, just looking," Liesel nodded. This was only the second time she stowed away on a scouting mission with them so she wasn't exactly sure what the plan was, but in her experience that's how she operated best.

"How do we know if we can trust them, if they're good candidates to come back?"

"We watch them," Aaron slowed down as he turned a corner, the sound of dried leaves rustling echoing in the air as they flew up behind the car. "See how they interact with each other, or others if there's the opportunity. "

Liesel turned to Aaron, pulling her hand back inside the car, "Is that what you did with me?"

Aaron laughed, shaking his head, "No."

"Then why'd you trust me," she squinted, tilting her head slightly.

"Some people just give you a feeling."

"You saying I give you a feeling Aaron," she wiggled her eyebrows earning a bark of laughter.

"Yeah, anxiety."

●●●●

"We'll walk from here," Aaron said as he slowed the car, parking in the middle of the road.

Liesel climbed out of the car, grabbing her backpack from the backseat, and strapping it on. She rounded the car to greet Eric with a smile before they started their trek to who knows where. Straying back a few feet from the couple, she kept one hand on a strap to her bag, her other on the hilt of her knife at her waist, and eyes and ears open. She hadn't been out in at least three months making her hyper aware of her surroundings. Every snap of a twig from the forest on both sides of them or rustle of leaves behind them had her tightening her grip on the knife.

They walked for a while, Aaron and Eric chatting comfortably with each other and Liesel trained on the world around them. Their steps slowed as a town appeared on the horizon. Aaron turned on his listening device, placing the headphones on his head as he pointed it in the town's direction. He shook his head after a few moments of listening to silence. 

"Could be a good place to stay though," Aaron offered as he took the headphones off, letting them wrap around his neck.

"If we clear it first," Liesel added, taking the lead. "Don't want any surprises in the middle of the night."

"Maybe we should just pass it, go back to the RV before dark. We're not meant to be going on a run." Eric was always more cautious of the three, risks didn't need to be made if it could be helped.

"Yeah, okay," Aaron smiled at his boyfriend before following Liesel. 

The trio passed through the town cautiously, Liesel and Eric with weapons pulled and Aaron with headphones on. Nothing jumped out though. Aaron thought it was luck, or maybe a group already cleared it giving him hope they'd find other people soon. Liesel, however, wasn't as optimistic. Not a single corpse, dead or undead. That was never a good sign in any situation.

"Maybe we should head into the woods, if there is anyone on the road won't want to spook them." Eric and Liesel nodded in agreement before veering to the right, heading into the thick forest.

"Do you think we should split up, stay within shouting distance if needed?" Liesel asked, going back to her position a few feet behind the couple.

"Probably not," Aaron answered, shifting his bag on his shoulders. “If there's anyone out here I'll be able to hear them.” 

They continued in silence, walking the length of the road a couple dozen yards into the trees. Liesel pulled her bottle of water out of the side pocket of her bag, unscrewing it and taking a drink. The water felt good in the heat. The sun was high in the sky now, it's scorching rays soaking the earth. Not even the thick leaves from the trees gave any cover. She felt sorry for anyone that had to be out here for an extended period. 

After a few moments of silence and still no dead Liesel could feel herself getting anxious. Something felt off since the town and she couldn't figure out why. “I'm gonna go in a bit further-”

“Liesel,” Aaron interrupted giving her a look that in any other situation would've made her stay put.

“I'll be fine,” she reassured him. “You have the headphones on, so I'll stay within listening distance. If anything happens I'll call.” Aaron and Eric looked at each other trying to decide if this was a fight they were willing to start knowing damn well they'd lose. Eric shrugged, giving in first. “I'll be back in an hour, no later.” Liesel nodded her head before splitting from them, heading to the right, deeper into the forest. 

Liesel grabbed her knife out of it's carrier on her waist, holding it tightly at her sides. She'd never call herself a stealthy person but she'd learned at an early age the less sound you made the better so she made her footsteps as silent as she could while she walked slowly through the thick foliage. The shuffling of feet in the dry leaves made her steps falter, ears straining to hear anything past it. _Alive or dead?_ Soft, wet growls came from ahead. _Dead it is._

She walked more confidently towards the corpse, grabbing the collar of it's shirt to keep it turned away from her before plunging her knife into it's head. A rotten smell filled the air as she pulled her knife out, careful not to let the dead body fall. Liesel slowly laid the corpse down, the smell sticking to the back of her throat. Huffing, she stood back up, wiping her knife on the side of her jeans. Seeing the walker made her feel a little better, like she wasn't in a big game of cat and mouse.

Quiet sniffles made the hair on her arms stand on end, head snapping around trying to find the source. Her eyes landed on a woman sitting against a tree a few yards away. She was covered in streaks of dirt, clothes dingy from not being cleaned in who knows how long. Liesel's heart clenched slightly at the sight., it made her want to walk up to the woman, comfort her. It was second nature, something that she'd been trying to dampen since the world went to hell but still remained to be one of Liesel's weaknesses. Caring too much. This woman could be a raging lunatic, could be pretending, waiting for someone to come along before attacking them. You couldn't trust anyone anymore. Not even women in forests wiping tears away with dirty hands. 

Liesel moved to stand behind a tree, hiding in case the woman decided to look up. Getting caught wasn't part of the plan. She watched her for a few minutes, feeling like the biggest stalker in the world. How did Aaron and Eric do this regularly? She was continually fighting the urge to go to her, offer her right then to go back to Alexandria. She needed a shower and from her thin form, food. 

She stepped from behind the tree getting ready to go to the stranger when she heard the soft groans of the dead making her stop. Liesel readied her knife again as she watched the walker approach the woman willing to step in if the woman needed it. Squinting her eyes she watched as the woman just sat there, what was she doing? The stranger had to hear it so why the hell wasn't she moving? The walker crashed into the tree, hands reaching for the woman greedily. She stood then, turning around, grabbing it's arm before stabbing it in the head. The stranger pulled her knife from it's skull before letting out a sob, collapsing back to the ground.

Liesel couldn't do it anymore. She put her knife back in the waist band of her pants, turning away from the woman and heading back to Aaron and Eric.

●●●●

“There's a group,” Eric stated quietly as Liesel approached the couple, Aaron sitting on the ground, speaker pointed towards the road. 

“Probably the group the woman I saw is in,” she mumbled in response making Aaron look at her.

“Did anything happen,” Aaron asked, sliding one headphone off as Liesel sat down next to him. 

“Nah,” she sighed picking up a twig. “I want a fucking cigarette, though.” Eric laughed quietly joining them on the forest floor as Aaron placed the headphone back, listening to the group some more. 

“Have one,” he shrugged.

“It'd attract people,” Liesel mumbled as she stripped the bark away slowly. They sat in silence as she peeled the twig bare, tiny shavings covering her jeans. She placed it in her lap before picking up another and starting the process again.

“Wanna talk about it,” Eric asked after five twigs were worked under Liesel's fingers.

“Not particularly,” she whispered picking up another stick. Eric grabbed it from her hands making her look at him. “She looked horrible, Eric,” Liesel sighed, snatching the stick back from him. “Like at any second she was going to keel over. They need food, water,” she scoffed throwing the stick at the tree across from her. “It's insane how easy it is to forget what it's like out here. This morning I woke up in a bed with sheets, took a nice cold shower, and ate a fan-fucking-tastic breakfast. She probably slept on the ground, hasn't bathed in weeks, maybe months, and most likely doesn't remember the last time she ate.”

“We can't save everyone, Lee,” Eric bumped his shoulder with hers. “We can try to. Lord knows I want to. But we can't.”

“That's not acceptable.” 

Aaron pulled his headphones off, standing up, interrupting whatever Eric had opened his mouth to say. Liesel and Eric followed Aaron's lead, wiping the dirt off of their jeans.

“They're moving,” Aaron tied the speaker to his waist, headphones pushed around his neck. The trio watched as the group piled into their van, heading towards Alexandria. 

“So what do we do now,” Liesel asked, crossing her hands in front of her chest as she looked back and forth between the two men.

“By the sounds of it they don't have much gas. They'll run out sooner or later—most likely sooner. So we'll follow them, we'll catch up eventually,” Aaron nodded, adjusting the straps of his bag.

“And if we lose them,” Liesel didn't like this plan. What if they didn't run out of gas? What if they reached their vehicles before they could? What if they turned down a road leading somewhere completely different? What if? 

“Trust me, Lee.” 

Liesel sighed, throwing her arms up. “Your rodeo!”

●●●●

She wasn't too proud to tell someone that they were right and she was wrong but the nice thing about having a best friend at the end of the world is you didn't have to. At some point the van the larger group was traveling in stopped, at least that was their assumption as it sat abandoned at the side of the road. Sweat pooled in the bends of Liesel's body as they continued to trail after the strangers. She wished she would've picked smarter clothing, the heat was getting to the point it was unbearable. Liesel silently asked herself if they should've let themselves be known earlier and offered the group some of their gas. Nobody deserved to walking out in this. She guessed it would've defeated the purpose of watching them and seeing how they worked, how they survived.

After a few more miles they were close enough to the group again that Aaron could hear them through his headphones. Liesel turned her head and noticed a few straggling corpses following after them. She nudged Eric, tilting her head towards the road before bringing her pointer finger to her lips. Nothing quite like getting caught by the attacking dead. Eric motioned to Aaron before heading a little further into the forest but still following along the road. 

“Do they know they're there,” Liesel whispered once out of eyesight from the walkers. 

Aaron nodded, “They aren't taking them out yet.”

It was smart of them, Liesel thought. Nine times out of ten someone living could out walk a dead one and the group definitely didn't seem like they were at their best. Enough, at least, to use energy that they didn't need to. She wiped sweat from her forehead before retrieving her water bottle, guzzling it down greedily. Before she left Alexandria she had packed three additional bottles in her bag so she wasn't afraid of drinking. Liesel watched through the trees as one of the men tried to give the woman from the forest a bottle with some water in but she refused to take it. Liesel looked down at the now empty bottle in her hands before throwing it angrily to the ground. Aaron looked back at her questioningly and she shook her head in response. 

“They're breaking,” Eric said softly as he stopped moving, head motioning to a couple going into the woods on the opposite side of them.

“Probably looking for food or water. If that group doesn't catch up with them,” Liesel motioned back to the walkers, “the dehydration will.”

“We can't just walk up to them, Lee,” Aaron sighed. “I know this is the hard part. Wanting to help but not being able to. We need to keep our distance.”

“Can we at least get them some water?” Maybe this was the real reason Deanna didn't want her to go out. Maybe it wasn't because she wanted to protect her from other people, she was trying to protect her from herself. 

“Not yet,” Aaron shook his head, “but soon.” 

Eric smiled at her before turning and continuing to walk. The group of strangers were slowing down and the group of walkers behind them was getting larger. It still wasn't big enough to make Liesel anxious, only about ten of the sons a bitches, but her worry for the group didn't waiver. 

After a few more miles Aaron stopped, moving one headphone to the side, “They're getting ready to take on the group.” 

Liesel crept closer to the road trying to get a clear view of what they had planned. Six of them stood on one end of a bridge, three on either side, the rest on the other end standing safely. She watched as they patiently waited for the group of corpses to make their way towards them. The man with the beard dodging one before pushing it down into the ravine the bridge covered. 

“They're fucking geniuses,” Liesel let out a breathy laugh, smiling. One of the women broke away from the group, walking up to one of the dead and stabbing it through it's skull. “I don't think that was part of the plan,” she whispered to the men behind her as she watched the larger group deal with the small hiccup. The trio stood silently as the group killed the remaining walkers, the growls slowly fading from the air as the last one fell to the road. The tension from the group rolled off in waves. They were close, so close to breaking Liesel could taste it. “They're going to die out here if we don't do something.”

“The RV's only a few miles away,” Eric whispered, “we could head back and get them some water. Make contact tomorrow after they've rested and gotten some fluids. Would probably make them easier to approach.” 

“Okay,” Aaron nodded slightly turning away from the group. “Lets head back.”

●●●●

They'd given them all the extra water they brought—four gallons and fourteen bottles. Placed them in the middle of the road as far ahead enough that they wouldn't be seen. Aaron set the note he'd written in the camper next to the bottles, 'From A Friend'. Hopefully they believed it. A large part of Liesel doubted it, but she channeled her inner Aaron and held on to a sliver of hope. She didn't stick around long enough to find out, choosing to head back to the RV once the water was set up. Damn did she need a cigarette. 

As soon as she closed the door of the camper behind her she fished in the front zipper of her bag, pulling out a pack of smokes and her lighter. She inhaled deeply after she finished fumbling one in between her lips and lighting it, relishing the burn down her throat from the nicotine. 

It'd been a year since she _had_ to be out here and it terrified the shit out of her that she forgot what it was like. Forgot what it was like to only be alive because of the person standing next to her, not knowing what else she could do besides keep moving, how hard it was to convince herself to survive. She was so thankful for Alexandria. It came to her at the most perfect time but damn had it made her soft. Nobody there knew what it was really like out here. They were all soft. 

Liesel opened the door of the RV, throwing her cigarette to the ground as rain started pouring from the sky. She smiled softly, leaning against the door frame. She didn't want to make the group of strangers soft, she hoped they would make Alexandria stronger.


	2. The Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a slow start and thank you for hanging with me. I'm going to be following the show pretty closely up until the walker attack with some little twists here and there. After that this will become pretty damn AU. Fair warning, since I didn't add it to the first chapter, 85% of this story is going to fluff because this cast deserves all the fluff. Especially Daryl. 
> 
> Thank you very much for the kudos! I hope you continue to enjoy this ramble of story. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.

Liesel slammed her body into the corpse’s, pushing it against the tree as she shoved her knife into its head. That was number eleven that had wandered up to the road where they parked the cars this morning. Liesel had been hoping that after the storm last night there would be less of the dead assholes but she’d killed more this morning than they even saw yesterday. She was starting to feel like a sitting duck as she paced back and forth the width of the road as they waited for Aaron to come back. But it’s what they had decided on once they ran into the fallen tree in the middle of the road. Didn’t mean either Liesel or Eric had to like it.

She had argued for close to an hour that Aaron going by himself was the stupidest plan she ever heard. Aaron, of course, had a counter for everything she said: they’d be more likely to trust one person than a group, less suspicious, Aaron was the best speaker of the three, Liesel didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut, it’d hit less to lose one person than three if something went south. In the end she lost and she took it in true Liesel fashion, stomping out of the RV and sitting on the hood of the old, beat up, blue car with a cigarette between her lips.

Now her and Eric were waiting on the road and Aaron had been gone for two hours making Liesel antsy with every passing second. She knew realistically it was going to take longer than two hours to convince the group that Alexandria was a real place and not some trick to harm them. Sometimes realism wasn’t an option.

Liesel pulled the knife from the walker’s head, wiping the blood off on the outside of her jean covered thigh. Climbing back up the small ditch the corpse had wandered from she holstered her weapon before placing a cigarette between her lips. “I understand that we can’t go to Aaron but can we at least do something before we end up dead?”

Eric laughed from the open RV door where he stood leaning against the frame. “We’re supposed to wait here and be the welcoming committee.”

“Yeah, and what if we’re waiting here for the slaughter?” Liesel asked as she flicked the ashes from her cigarette.

“What happened to the gung-ho attitude from yesterday,” Liesel couldn’t help but notice the slight shift in Eric’s stance and she felt the harsh beginnings of guilt creep into her stomach.

“That was before it was just them and Aaron in a barn that looks like all it needs is once huff from the big bad wolf.” Liesel leaned against the RV next to the door, one hand across her stomach as her other brought the cigarette back to her lips.

Eric let out a bark of laughter making Liesel jump in surprise, “You seem better than yesterday.”

Liesel looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, shrugging, “I don’t think Aaron’s going to be back anytime soon. We could head to that town we passed through.” She turned, leaning on her shoulder to face him. “Yeah, we’re not on a run but it’s better than sitting here thinking of everything that could be going wrong right now.”

“You aren’t going to let it go until I agree, right,” he chuckled, standing straight.

“Most likely,” Liesel grinned.

“Let me leave him a note just in case,” Eric turned back into the RV leaving a smiling Liesel outside.

Maybe spending so much time with Aaron had made her too used to getting her way, at least when it came to the couple. When Liesel had first moved to Alexandria, back when she refused to accept the job Deanna had offered her and to speak with anybody, Aaron had a thing of asking her every time he left if she needed or wanted anything. Liesel would always answer with a short ‘no’. Every single time. The next run or recruitment trip he would come back and ask her all over again. It went on for two months before Liesel finally said yes. Thus begun her large collection of records and books and Aaron not being able to say no to most of Liesel’s requests.

Liesel inhaled the last hit of cigarette before tossing it on the asphalt, crushing it beneath the heel of her boot. It still amazed her some days how lucky she was to come across them that night.

“Notes done,” Eric walked down the steps of the RV, two bags in his hand. “You get to lead the way, adventure girl,” he handed Liesel her bag before sliding his onto his shoulders.

“I’ve been called worse,” she smiled, moving her cigarette pack from her jeans pocket to her bag before strapping the bag in place. Liesel grabbed the binoculars off the trunk of the car as they passed it. Just in case. 

“So how’d you sleep last night,” Eric smiled, he always smiled. Liesel gave him a ‘how the hell do you think’ look making his grin grow. It was one of her favorite things about him—that smile. How easily it was to place on and how difficult it was to wipe off.

“Felt like I was at a five-star hotel,” Liesel rolled her eyes earning a laugh. Honestly, she had grabbed probably twenty minutes of sleep between her nerves of the big question mark today was and the small bench in the RV she had curled up on. She wasn’t going to tell him that though.

“Sorry we took the bed,” he said sheepishly which was absurd to her, she was the one that crashed their trip, not the other way around. Besides, there was two of them and one of her. 

“Don’t have to be sorry, Eric,” she shook her head as they rounded a corner opening up to a less claustrophobic road with open land on the left hand side with a barn and tractor a yard or two from the road. “We should cut through; it’d make it quicker.”

“Like I said, you’re in charge, adventure girl,” he chuckled.

Liesel headed slowly towards the barn with Eric following behind her. They didn’t have anywhere to be and after the storm last night all of the humidity had been sucked out of the air making it bearable to be outside. It also didn’t hurt that she changed from her baseball cut shirt for a tank top. She was going to enjoy the open air while she could. If everything went according to plan, she’d be back behind the walls of Alexandria by tomorrow.

“Lee,” Eric whispered, grabbing the back of her bag to stop her.

Liesel turned around noticing the walking figures on the road. They ducked behind the tractor they had made it to, Liesel’s heart pounding. Why was she scared? Liesel leaned over the largest tire, placing the binoculars to her eyes. There was just five of them, Aaron wasn’t one of them.

“He’s not with them,” she tried to keep the panic out of her voice but failed. There were numerous reasons why Aaron wouldn’t be with them, the most obvious being checking out whatever Aaron had told him. Surely that was what was happening. She knew that. It didn’t help.

“It’s fine, Lee, doesn’t mean anything,” Eric whispered back as the group moved closer. She darted back behind the tractor, sitting on the ground. It didn’t help.

Sometimes realism wasn’t an option.

●●●●

They decided on the building with a pharmacy and grocery store on the bottom and apartments on top. Any produce would be beyond saving but Liesel held onto hope for some canned goods. Maybe they’d even be able to find some first aide loot, the clinic was running dangerously low. Everyone seemed to forget how important it was on runs until they got cut open and needed something to stop an infection.

Liesel and Eric stood outside the door listening for any rustling inside. In hindsight maybe she should’ve grabbed the speaker instead of the binoculars. She didn’t hear anything but wasn’t going to trust her life on it. Liesel looked around on the ground before picking up a small stone, tossing it in her hand. She walked back to the door, throwing it through the broken glass. The stone bounced on the ground, knocking into a end display, echoes sounding throughout the store.

The couple waited a few moments before the soft groans and shuffles of a corpse coming to investigate sounded. Eric smiled at her as she pulled her knife from her waist. She tapped the handle against the door bringing the corpse close enough to her that she could push her knife into its temple. The body fell to the ground with a thud and she waited a few more minutes to see if any more would come stumbling up with the additional noise.

“I forget how good you are out here.” Eric followed her through the door, heading for the back of the store first.

“Not good,” Liesel mumbled, keeping her knife drawn, “just common sense.”

“You could just take the compliment,” Eric huffed out a breath of laughter.

“Nah,” she smiled back at him before raising a finger to her lips.

They worked quietly and quickly, going aisle by aisle from the back of the store to front. She motioned to him with her hands only, no words exchanged between them. Liesel focused on the sounds around her, waiting for something to jump out at them, ready to defend Eric down to her last breath. After clearing the store she hadn’t had to use hew knife, they grabbed the few remaining medical supplies, and had no luck on the canned goods. 

Liesel and Eric headed back outside, going to the side of the building where the stairs that led up to the apartments were. The metal creaked beneath their weight as the climbed them, Liesel’s stomach dropping with each breeze that seemed the sway the entire staircase. She climbed into the open window at the top first, making sure the room was clear before motioning for Eric to join her on solid ground.

They quickly searched the small apartment for any corpses but came up with none. Liesel nodded to Eric as they broke away from each other, looking through the apartment separately. Liesel took the kitchen, dining room, and bathroom, looking through the shelves and freezer but opting to steer clear of the fridge in case of anything rotten. They met back in the living room thirty minutes later where Eric was shuffling through a bookcase.

“I think I found you something,” he called over his shoulder. Liesel stepped up to him, sliding the backpack off her shoulders and onto the ground. Eric handed her a few books, a grin spreading across her face as she read the title. 

“Yes,” she dragged out the s, shaking her shoulders back and forth. “I’ve been looking for this for forever, since before all this.” Anita Blake was written on the right hand corner of the blue cover, a small razor blade in the center. 

“How many of them are there,” Eric asked, looking through the rest of the books. 

“All together,” she paused, mentally counting the books up, “eighteen. Probably would've been more,” she shrugged walking back to her bag and shoving the book in the front pouch next to her cigarettes. She had the other seventeen back at her house. Not all of them came from Aaron, the majority were from before and had been stowed away in the trunk of the car she used to own. They looked much better on the mahogany shelves than they did tossed about on the carpet. 

Liesel sat on the couch next to her bag, putting a cigarette in her mouth and lighting it. She inhaled the smoke as her eyes grew heavy, her limited sleep starting to catch up with her. Using a nearby empty bottle as an ash tray she flicked her cigarette, staring at Eric's back as he slowly read through each title. The wall was covered from ceiling to baseboard making the book worm in her want to bring back a car for a special run. That would go well with Deanna. _Yes, I'd like to borrow a car and gas to go get some books, please._ She knew well enough that Deanna was going to act like everything was fine when she got back but in reality had Liesel in the mental doghouse. 

“Why'd you come with us,” Eric asked turning around to her. 

Liesel shrugged again, taking a hit of her cigarette as Eric sat in the chair across from her. “Just 'cause.”

“Lee, c'mon, it's just us,” he sighed out giving her that earnest look he did when he wanted to delve into her mind.

“Because I knew you were gonna land yourself in some serious trouble and I'd need to be here to save the day,” she smiled sweetly. 

“Okay,” he shook his head, leaning back. She liked to believe her uneasiness at conversations revolving heavily around her was endearing and not abhorrent but she was still working on it. 

“Do we want to try some other apartments?” Liesel stood, putting her cigarette in the bottle and stretching her arms above her head. Needing to move she walked over to the front door, turning the handle but the door didn't budge. She pushed slightly against the wood, a small creak coming from the hinges. “Or not,” she whispered. 

“Is it locked,” Eric asked still sitting in his chair. 

“I don't think so. Feels like something is blocking it,” she turned, starting to walk from the window to the door and back again. “Technically if we were really that desperate we could find something to bust it down with but that'd most likely end up getting the attention of a crap ton of those ass-hats. Don't think there's anything we really need that bad.” 

Eric nodded, getting up from his seat, “It's going to get dark soon, we should head back.” 

Liesel hummed in agreement grabbing her bag from the couch. “Sorry if this was kind of pointless. Just didn't feel like sitting around all day. My brain would go insane.” 

“I know,” he whispered giving her that look again, “besides, it wasn't all pointless. We got some medical supplies, got you a new book. Now I call that a win.” Eric started climbing out the window. “And maybe when we get down I can look for some license plates.” Liesel let out a loud laugh as she made her way out the window after him. “Don't know what you're laughing at, librarian.” 

Liesel shook her head, watching as Eric carefully walked down the stairs. She turned her head to look up at the sky, the colors slowly fading from pinks and purples, everything slowly falling into muted tones. It would be dark in less than minutes give or take. They should've left sooner. Liesel turned back to Eric who was halfway down the stairs, hands gripping the railing tightly. She took her first step onto the stairs, the metal creaking even louder. The staircase swayed slightly making the hair on her arms stand up. There was no wind. 

“Eric, go,” Liesel yelled as she started slowly down the steps afraid to disturb them anymore. Eric didn't question what he was told and walked a little faster making Liesel sigh in relief. Another loud creak echoed as the top of the staircase came unattached from the brick building lurching her backward. She looked down to make sure Eric made it safely before starting to run, heart pounding. The steps jolted again just as Liesel reached the last few stairs making her fall forward, landing on her right knee and shoulder. Eric rushed to her, pulling her off the cement. “Go, go, go,” she huffed pushing him forward. They got to the edge of the alley before the staircase fell completely off the side of the building landing with a loud crash that felt like it went on for forever. 

“Fuck.” Liesel looked around trying to determine how much attention was just attracted to them. “Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered, her heart racing as corpses started stumbling out of the buildings. “We need to go, now,” she shoved Eric, pulling her knife from her waist. Why did she just have a knife? 

Liesel stayed behind Eric as they ran down the street opposite of where they came from, throwing glances behind at that growing number of corpses. Eric stopped abruptly causing her to crash into his back, both of them stumbling forward. Liesel looked ahead, a group of about a dozen blocking them. She reached for Eric's hand pulling him down an alley, their feet falling heavily on the cement. 

“Fuck,” she whispered harshly between labored breaths as they got to the other side. It wasn't any better on this side of the building, dozens of walkers shuffling towards the loud noise that had rung like a dinner bell. “Think fucking fast, Liesel.” 

She tried to push the anger down that was rising like bile in the back of her throat. Being pissed at her stupidity wasn't going to help them. Her eyes darted around the town, nothing but empty cars and abandoned buildings being swarmed by corpses. That was it.

“Eric,” she pulled him up to her, pointing to the car closest to them. “Get under it.” He nodded quickly, running towards the car before lowering himself to the ground and rolling under. Liesel ran to the car in front of his mimicking his moves. 

Liesel could hear her heart beating in her ears as she watched Eric, the corpses starting to walk past his car. _If this doesn't work . . ._ But she couldn't think of that, not now. When she got them back to the RV and Alexandria where they were safe and sound from corpses and cars she'd think about. She'd think about how stupid she was and wonder why she couldn't just _stay put_. 

She could barely make out Eric's figure anymore, the sun dropping completely out of the sky. _Less than ten minutes, give or take._ Liesel's hand gripped her knife tighter as the sound of shuffling lessened, leaving only a few pairs of feet on the ground. Her heart stopped as a sound came from across her. Liesel squinted her eyes in hopes it'd make her see better as the banging continued. Sweat trickled down her temple as the few corpses started in their direction. Nothing could ever be easy. 

Liesel reacted purely on instinct as the walkers rammed into the back of Eric's car making it lurch forward, crashing into the end of hers. She rolled from under her car as Eric tried to muffle his screams, slamming her knife into the back of the first corpse's head. Black blood oozed out as she pulled her knife back, shoving the body to the side to get to another one. Once she finished off the last walker she reached for Eric, the groans from the herd that had passed coming closer once again. Liesel wrapped her arm around Eric's waist pulling him hard against her making her stumble backward. 

“We gotta go,” she urged trying to get him to talk with her.

“My ankle,” his teeth were clenched, tears rolling down the corner of his eyes. 

“I know, but we have to move, Eric,” Liesel pulled at him earning a couple hops on his good foot before he came crashing back into her, knocking them to the concrete. She let out a whoosh of breath as her back and head collided oddly with the hard ground, Eric on top of her. 

“Lee,” he raised his voice at the sound of the impact, “I'm so sorry.” 

The groans were getting even closer, they could smell the stench of rotting flesh waft through the air making them try to scooch back with their hands. Eric pulled his bag off fumbling in the front pouch before pulling out his flare gun, shooting it in the air before Liesel could even tell him not to. 

“Eric,” she whispered harshly as the night sky burst with a bright orange light. 

She pulled herself off the ground, legs and hands shaking. Stopping wasn't an option. She didn't come out here to die and she sure as hell wasn't going to let Eric. Liesel pulled him up once again ignoring the winces of pain on his face. She pulled Eric behind her as, stumbling up the street as she thought about the group of strangers and the group of corpses following behind them yesterday. This would be a piece of cake for them. Liesel snorted to herself gripping her knife tightly, _really should've just stayed put_. A burst of laughter pushed it's way out as the RV squealed to a stop the next street up. 

“Aaron,” Eric breathed, his pace quickening a little. 

They stopped as the RV door opened, the man from the other group who carried a crossbow came out with said crossbow pointed at them, “What's yer name?”

Why was he here and not Aaron? Where's Aaron? 

“I'm Eric,” Eric pointed to himself, “this is Liesel,” his voice was calm like a herd wasn't after them and he didn't get ran over. 

The man nodded as he stepped aside, motioning for them to get in, “Aaron's with ours in a car, should be 'ere soon.” 

Eric looked at her like she should know what to do. Was there really a contest? Get in their safe RV or stay on a street with corpses shuffling behind them. Liesel started pulling Eric towards the RV, pushing him up the stairs. Liesel climbed up the stairs after him greeted by the faces of most of their group. The others had to be with Aaron. In the car. She took a moment to wonder if they knew they'd been watching, listening. Her cheeks burned as her eyes fell on the woman—Maggie they had learned yesterday—from the woods. Of course they did. 

“We're going to find somewhere safe to stay until Rick and the others catch up,” Maggie explained, “then we can look at that leg,” she nodded to Eric's ankle and all Liesel could do was nod. What else could she do?

●●●●

Aaron was alive and standing in front of her. She could see the faint color of a bruise forming on the left side of his cheek but other than that, he was whole. Liesel watched as the group spoke with each other, Aaron thanking them for saving us, saving Eric, and trying to make jokes to lighten the mood. One of Liesel's favorite things about her and Aaron's relationship was that in the year they'd known each other she could always manage to get in Aaron's mind space. He was so good at pulling her out of herself. Which only made her mood worse when she found it wasn't happening tonight. Liesel leaned against the cool wall closing her eyes as the voices started to fade. She counted her breaths in and out as her mind replayed everything from the past two days. 

“You're bleeding.” At any other time Aaron's high-pitch squeak would've made her laugh so hard she couldn't breathe but right now all she could do was open her eyes and stare at him. Aaron was alive. Eric was alive. 

“What,” she breathed out following Aaron's eyes to the shoulder she landed on after the stairs. Layers of skin was peeled away leaving angry swipes of blood up and down her arm. “Oh, it's fine,” she shrugged noticing for the first time a twinge of pain. 

“Lee, what happened,” Aaron asked looking her over for any other cuts. 

How could she answer that question? She had a death wish so thought it'd be great to go scavenging with only a knife? She couldn't sit around doing nothing because her mind wouldn't stop the slideshow of what exactly could've happened to Aaron on his own? She was a dumb ass who thought going up some janky ass stairs that hadn't been maintenanced probably years before the end of the world happened was a good idea? That shoving Eric under a fucking car with the breaks not being on was perfect? 

Liesel clenched her jaw, eyes going to the doorway behind Aaron. She was so fucking stupid. 

“I need a cigarette,” she grabbed her pack of cigarettes from her front pouch and walked out the door.

●●●●

The best part of being alone is if you closed your eyes and slowed your mind you could have a couple moments of blissful ignorance and pretend everything was the same it used to be. That everyone you knew before was still alive, you could pick up the phone and fill the hole where your family used to reside, it could be one of those nights where you were dragged to a bar to have fun by your sister and the same two friends you had had since freshman year of college. Aaron used to tell Liesel all the time that being alone wasn't going to fix anything, then she told she knew, but at least she could pretend for five minutes before the world came crashing back. He never bothered her again when she walked off with the distant look in her eyes so she knew the person that walked out of the building wasn't him, but she couldn't bring herself to look up. She wanted to be blissfully ignorant. 

Whoever it was gave her her unspoken wish. They didn't step out of the doorway or make a noise to get her attention—just stood. Possibly waiting for her to make a move first, possibly being sent out to watch her, possibly just taking a break from everyone just like her. For once she didn't have the energy to worry. 

Liesel looked down at the cigarette in her hand, tossing it to the ground once she noticed it was down to the butt. She picked up the pack next to her and lighting another. Smoking wasn't something she did all the time, before she actually managed to stop all together. But something about the world burning made you not care anymore and she started the habit back up, only when she was anxious. She figured it was better than the hundred other things anxiety could make a person do so she went with it. If the day came where she ran out she'd cross that bridge when she got there. 

Flicking the cigarette, she leaned her head against the brick, her hair catching on the rough surface, pulling it slightly. Liesel looked out of the corner of her eyes to the person standing the doorway. The man with the bow. 

He was staring at her as she squatted against the wall, “That's not very polite,” her voice cracked making him jump. She couldn't help the small huff of laughter, he didn't seem like the type to scare easily. 

“Ya should get that looked at,” he nodded to her arm as he looked away. 

“When we get back,” she mumbled, taking a hit of her cigarette. The silence enveloped them again, this time she stared at him as he looked at everything else but her. Aaron had said his name was Daryl and he seemed to take on the roll of the hunter in the group. Liesel could easily see it. She could tell by his toned arms that he was strong, and even though she had only seen him use his bow once could tell he knew how to use it. Most people wouldn't think that was admirable trait, actually knowing how to use your weapon, that it should just come with the territory. Liesel had met enough people to know that just simply was not true. A lot of people just picked up the first thing they could get their hands on and ran with it, not always ending well.

Liesel stood up, her knees screaming from being bent for so long, and flicked her cigarette. “Should probably try to get some rest.” 

Daryl nodded his head once before opening the door for her, looking around behind them before following her in. Watching her it was then.


	3. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The domino effect named Liesel has officially begun in this chapter, so small yet noticeable changes to Alexandria and it's residents are in store. Much thanks for the kudos and as always, any constructive criticism is welcomed! Enjoy. 
> 
> ****Changed the title (by one word), added some tags, and added to the ending of chapter two!****  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead.

She wouldn't necessarily call it hiding as there's only a handful of places she was usually at inside of Alexandria, she would just call it _avoiding_. As soon as the gate to the community opened she had wrapped her arm around Eric's waist and headed to the clinic where she remained for the two hours since. She had taken care of Eric's ankle before sending him on his way with Aaron, cleaned and covered her road burn much to her chagrin, and was now organizing and stocking the new supplies her and Eric got the day before. So it wasn't like she was being useful, she just wasn't going to go find Deanna and throw herself in the fire. Later she'd tell her it was because she knew she was busy and didn't want to intrude. Liesel finished putting the rest of the supplies away just as the front door of the clinic opened, followed by Deanna's voice. No time like the present then. 

“This is our infirmary,” sounded like the grand tour was still going on. “We have two doctors in town, Dr. Pete Anderson,” she walked into the back where Liesel was standing, backpack still in hand, “and I believe you've met Dr. Liesel Madison.” Deanna waved her arms like Liesel was some prize on one of those old game shows. “She's currently on call, so to speak, since Pete has had to work the past three days.” _Damn, did she perfect passive aggressiveness._

“I'm sure sweet Pete was just swamped with people,” Liesel rolled her eyes, placing the backpack on the closest chair. 

Deanna shot her a look that made her know she'd get called out for it later before turning back to Rick. “Once you get settled, either tonight or tomorrow, I would prefer if your group came to see her. Just for a regular check up, make sure no one is sick.” Deanna folded her hands behind her back, Liesel believed she did it to make it clear she was an authoritative figure bit honestly, it just made her laugh. “That's it for today, if you have any questions please feel free to ask myself, Aaron, or Dr. Madison.” 

Liesel stared at Rick as Deanna turned on her heel and walked out of the back room. “She doesn't seem very happy with you,” Rick said in his slow drawl making Liesel laugh. 

“She'll get over it,” she shrugged, it was showtime “It's not really a check up. We're limited on equipment, obviously, so I'll just take vitals for now, try to catch any signs of sickness. If there's something you guys would want me to check in specific don't hesitate, it's literally why I'm here,” Liesel smiled walking past Rick to the main area of the clinic where the space was larger. “If you do decide to stay, anyone who leaves the walls gets a full exam. Check for any damage—broken bones, sprains, scratches, bites,” she counted on her fingers. “You do have the choice whether it's Pete or I but the exam itself is not optional.” The tension immediately spiked in the room with those two words. Most people had the same reaction when she told them they had no choice and that's why Deanna had her do this part, not Pete. 

“Doesn't that piss people off,” Rick asked shifting on his feet, hand on his hip. 

Liesel shrugged her shoulders again, “I honestly don't care. People dying because of something as fragile as a wounded ego should piss people off more.”

“I take it it's your idea then,” he nodded towards her. 

She looked at him, nodding her head in response. “When I came here Deanna asked me to do whatever I could to make sure the people here were healthy and _stayed_ healthy. If my way of doing that pisses people off or makes them think I'm some sort of Nazi, like I said, I honestly don't care.” 

Rick scoffed, shaking his head slightly, “You're not usually as quiet as you have been the past two day, are you?” 

“Home turf advantage,” Liesel smirked as the clinic door opened again. 

“Hello, Rick,” Aaron greeted, waving his hand, “if you're ready I can show you what could be your new home.” 

Rick continued to look at Liesel, she could tell he was trying to get a read on her. If Deanna couldn't understand her most the time she doubt he would figure it out. “Okay.”

“Rick,” she called after them, making him pause and turn his head to look back at her, “we can make it tomorrow. I'll tell Deanna it was my idea.” Rick waited a few second before nodding and following Aaron.

●●●●

Liesel stayed at the clinic until well after dark, in the three days she was gone Pete had managed to make a mess out of everything. The only good thing being she found things she thought they had ran out of a long time ago—anti-inflammatory pills, vitamins, anti-bacterial creams. She had stocked them on her side of the invisible line the two had drawn when she first agreed to working with him. If he wanted them, he could go find his own. She shifted her backpack to her other hand as she leisurely walked down the street. There was something about almost dying that made you want to appreciate the small things like walking without fear.

Liesel was almost home, six houses away to be exact, before Deanna called her name from a porch across the street. She didn't stop. If she was going to get yelled at she'd rather it be done in the privacy of her own home. Deanna followed quietly behind her as they walked up the sidewalk that led to her porch. Liesel turned the door handle, flipping the switch inside the house to turn the entry way lights on. She waited until Deanna walked through the door before shutting it, opening the closet that been blocked and tossing her bag in. 

“Go for it,” Liesel sighed as she turned around, arms opening up before falling to her sides. 

“Dr. Madison-” 

“Liesel.”

“Dr. Madison-”

“Liesel, rhymes with diesel.”

“You really are an infuriating woman sometimes,” Deanna smiled at her, shaking her head before heading into the living. 

“There's a reason why I'm single,” Liesel called after her as she bent down to untie her boots. Liesel placed her boots in front of the now closed closet door before joining Deanna in the living room. Deanna sat on the couch in front of the TV that had been in the house before Liesel moved in, she didn't even know if it worked. Liesel took her normal seat in the bay window, leaning against the pillows. 

“I wish you would have at least asked before you left,” Deanna started, hands folded in her lap. “It's not that I don't want to keep you here against your will, Liesel. You are too important to this community.” 

“You have Pete,” Liesel picked at her nails, doing her best to avoid looking at Deanna. 

“Pete may have more experience, true, but people like you,” Liesel scoffed, shaking her head, “Whether you believe it or not. And you are much more capable of making decisions that benefit the well-being of Alexandria.” Liesel licked her lips as she used her nails to scrape the grime from underneath them. “I understand that you sometimes you need to leave but I would like it if there was a discussion before hand. That way I can make sure you're protected while you're out there.” 

“What, by people like your son,” Liesel scoffed moving to a laying position. 

“Aiden has definitely let things to get to his head.” Deanna nodded. “Maybe if Rick's group decides to stay we can make a change in the order of runs,. I've already asked Glenn, Tara, and Noah to join them.” 

“They'll be good at it,” Liesel whispered closing her eyes. 

“I agree,” Deanna replied just as softly. “Liesel, I just worry about you.”

Liesel tried to open her mouth to reply, thought it loudly enough she hoped Deanna could hear her, _Aaron worries enough for all of us._

●●●●

Her whole body ached when she woke up, from her feet all the way up to her pounding head. Liesel turned in the window seat, squinting at the clock on the shelf across from her that read 4:02 am. Huffing, she brought her hand up to her eyes to wipe the corner of her eyes before sitting up, the throbbing in her head getting worse. She rolled her neck hoping to earn a few cracks followed by sweet relief but nothing gave. Giving up Liesel got up making her way to the bathroom up the stairs. Most people now a days would say it's wasteful to take two showers a day, that she shouldn't waste precious resources such as water. She would kindly tell them to fuck off because right now her body felt like she was the one that got ran over, not Eric.

Sighing, Liesel turned on the tub faucet making the water as hot as she could stand, she'd take a cold one when she got back from her run to cool off. Right now she was hoping the steaming water would unknot everything in her body. Liesel turned the shower on, stripping out of the clothes she'd been wearing before stepping into the hot water, opting to leave her hair in the same bun she'd put it in three days before. She hissed on contact, using her hands to try and shield her chest until she got used to the temperature. Every ache in her body brought her back to the chilling crunch of Eric's ankle, his muffled screams, the panic as he shot the flare into the night sky.

Trying to rid the images running through her head she pushed her body into the water, instant relief as it soaked into her aching muscles. Liesel closed her eyes, letting the water cascade down her body as she readied her mental check list for the day: shower, breakfast, five mile run, shower, briefing with Deanna and Pete, clinic. It was the same as every other day inside Alexandria. 

Liesel quickly rubbed her body down with a bar soap, washing away the dirt, sweat, and blood that was caked onto her skin. She took the time to take inventory of any other damage she'd earned as her hands roamed her body. There wasn't anything as bad her shoulder that she found, just a couple scrapes and bruises that nobody else would see. Liesel was glad she'd chosen to change her shirt to something covered her arms before they reached the gates. If Deanna had seen her arm she wouldn't have been so collected. 

Reaching her hands out she turned the faucet off, pulling the curtain back. The shower seemed to do the trick for now, the only thing hurting still was her head, but even that had lulled to a dull roar. Liesel grabbed a towel off the rack next to the tub and wrapped it around her body before heading into her bedroom at the other end of the hall. She dressed quickly in the pair of shorts, sports bra, and tank top she took from a sporting goods store when she was still back home in Maryland, right before her and her sister decided to try and make it to D.C..

Liesel checked the alarm clock on her nightstand, reading 4:36 in bright shining lights. She still had two hours before the sun started to rise and everyone else would start waking up so she figured she'd take the time to actually make breakfast this morning instead of her usual almonds and raisins. Liesel jogged down the hardwood stairs, her socked feet making no noise against them. She slid to a stop at the bottom before turning and walking into the kitchen, turning on the light. 

The white theme of the house carried into the kitchen—walls, cabinets, island, granite, all white. If Liesel had her choice she'd gut the whole thing and fill it with deep earthy tones like her old apartment used to be but even Liesel knew the apocalypse wasn't time for interior design. Walking to closest set of cabinets she opened them up looking inside to help her decide what to make. 

She eyed the can of corned beef hash before grabbing it, setting it on the counter next to her. Reaching up above the island she pulled a pan from the holder setting it on the stove with a bang that made her jump. She pulled out a can opener from her utensil drawer and pressed down, the sharp edge piercing the metal before stopping. Liesel drummed her fingernails across the top of the granite, looking out the window at the dark street. She could do the neighborly thing. Nodding in agreement with herself she turned on her heel and headed for the door choosing to switch up her schedule and go for a run first.

●●●●

“You were slow this morning,” Aaron was sitting on her steps when she got back, a bottle of water in his hands outstretched for her to take.

“Just a little sore,” she answered as she took the bottle of water and drank it down greedily. 

“Eric said you took a pretty bad fall, a couple times,” Aaron pushed, standing up and looking down at her. “You should have Pete check it out.” 

“I'd rather have Eric give me a physical,” Liesel walked past him and up her stairs, his laughter making her smile. “I was thinking about making the newbies breakfast.” 

Aaron followed Liesel up the stairs and into the her house, shutting the door softly behind them, “That would be nice of you.” 

“Least I could, especially since I have be all doctorly towards them today,” Liesel tossed the now empty plastic bottle into the trash bin in the doorway as she walked through it and into the kitchen. 

“Ah, yes, the mandatory check-up.” 

“Not mandatory, we don't use that word. _Preferred_ ,” Liesel recited what Deanna had told her many times before. Mandatory made people not want to do it even more so with the use of any other word. Liesel didn't see the difference since everyone caught what Deanna really meant. “If you want you can start,” Liesel beamed at him. “I need to shower before I touch anything.” 

“I knew it,” Aaron laughed again, “what you meant by you cooking was me cooking.” 

Liesel shrugged as she turned around and headed for the staircase, “Tomayto, tomahto.”

●●●●

“I promise it's not poisoned.” Liesel was holding a dutch-oven full of powered scrambled eggs, Aaron stood behind her with the corned beef hash, as they stood on the porch of Rick's house. Rick's eyes darted back and forth between the two like he was trying to figure out their angle making Liesel smile a bit. “I figured you guys probably haven't had actual breakfast food in a while. I mean, if you can call powdered eggs actual breakfast food.”

Maggie opened the door wider, grabbing the dish out of Liesel's hands, “Thank you.” She motioned for them to follow her inside as Rick stepped out the doorway. “Powered or not, I can't even remember the last time I had eggs.” 

Unlike Liesel's house their kitchen was set in the back so they had to walk past the open living room to get there, attracting the attention of the group. Liesel noticed they had all stayed in the same room together, at least she assumed by the piles of blankest and pillows. They wanted to protect each other, make sure nothing was going to come for them when they sleeping. Or, at least, if they did, they'd stand a fighting chance. She looked back at Maggie who was staring at her, trying to read her expression. 

“I stayed with Aaron and Eric for the first four months I was here before I got my own place,” she nodded as Aaron set his pan next to Maggie's on the counter. Liesel leaned over, whispering in Maggie's ear, “Figured they got tired of me cock-blocking them.” 

Maggie laughed loudly making Aaron look at Liesel. She raised her hands in defense, “What?” Liesel winked at Maggie making the woman laugh again. “I'm gonna get going. Lots to do.” 

“Don't you want to stay and eat,” Maggie asked as she started heading back towards the door.

“Thanks, I already did. I have a meeting with Deanna that if I'm late to she'll probably . . . make me a maid or something,” Liesel turned back towards Maggie, walking backwards towards the door. 

“A maid,” she quirked her eyebrow.

“I hate cleaning,” Liesel reached her hand back for the handle as she reached the door. 

“Okay,” Maggie smiled at her, “When do you want me to come to infirmary?”

“Um, I should only be at Deanna's for, at the most, thirty minutes, so 7:30?” Liesel opened the door, Aaron stepping through first. 

“I'll make it 8,” Liesel nodded turning to walk out the door, “and thank you again.” 

Liesel smiled, waving her hand slightly before shutting the door and heading to Deanna's.

●●●●

Whenever Liesel called the shit show that was Wednesday mornings a meeting or briefing it made her want to laugh. What it really was was Pete whining for thirty minutes to try and gets things that weren't possible to get anymore, things like cat-scanners, better x-ray machines than the portable one they happened to run into, an unlimited supply of insulin. Yes, all of these would be great to have but Liesel knew realistically, it wasn't going to happen. So she sat the entire thirty minutes in silence suppressing the urge to stand up and smack the shit out of Pete before they were finally dismissed. Pete called her name as she walked down Deanna's step but she continued moving, she didn't have the patience for him.

Once Liesel made it to the safety of the clinic she walked to her side of the office, grabbing a couple of binders off her shelf and setting them on her desk. She took her hair out of the bun she had put it in after her second shower of the day, the thick curls still damp. Liesel sat down in her swivel chair, opening up the first binder and starting to go through the medication lists for each resident of Alexandria. 

She made it to the C's when Maggie and Glenn came walking into the clinic. Pulling two forms from the top drawer of her desk she stood up, handing the papers to the couple as she showed them to the back. They sat on the cots as she performed her regular check-up quickly. The couple thanked her again for bringing them breakfast and doing the check-up before leaving her alone in the clinic again. 

The rest of Rick's group came and went through out the day, all except Rick and his kids, and Daryl. Most acted pleasant enough to her but some didn't hide their minor irritation. Like she told Rick, people could be pissed, it kept people alive. Aaron wandered his way in around noon making Liesel stop staring at the binders long enough to eat lunch but beside that she hadn't moved from her chair. Her hand was starting to cramp from the list of medications they were running low on, the ones that were high priority to try and find and the ones people could live without if they needed to. Liesel tossed her pen down on her desk, rubbing her eyes with her thumbs. 

“This a bad time,” Rick's voice echoed throughout the empty clinic making her jump. She could hear Carl laughing somewhere behind him and shot him a glare. 

“No, it's fine,” Liesel put on her best smile, standing up earning, a few pops and cracks from her back. “If you follow me, we can get started.” Liesel pulled out three more forms before motioning with her hands to the back door Rick had been in the previous day. “These are just procedure, kind of 'the more you know' thing,” she explained when Rick raised his eyebrow at her when she handed him the papers. “I like to act like this is as much of real clinic as I can.” Carl sat on one of the cots, his sister bouncing in his lap making Liesel smile. 

“What are those,” Rick motioned back to the other room. 

“Patient records of sorts.” She assumed he was talking about the binders. “Keep track of medications people so need so we can try and keep them stocked,” she explained more as she pulled on a pair of gloves. “Made more sense in the beginning, now there's not really a point.” It was grim but she had just spent an entire day trying to decide whose medication was more important, who would get some of the last insulin they had, the cute elderly couple or the five year old kid? 

Liesel rolled her shoulders before walking over to the two children, squatting down to Judith's level, “Hello, Judith. My name is Liesel,” the baby babbled back at her making her smile softly, “I guess you can call me Lee, but only you.” She raised her arms up and down bouncing faster. 

Liesel continued like it was any other patient, just making sure to talk more and keep smiling at the baby. She figured kids, up until they could comprehend, were a lot like dogs. You could say anything to them and they'd eat it up as long as you smiled and said it pleasantly enough. After she was finished she stood up looking down at the smiling girl trying to decide if she wanted to ruin that smile by sticking a needle into her. No chances. She turned to Rick, “I will need to get some blood.” 

“Why?” If looks could kill Liesel was pretty sure she'd been dead. 

“It's mainly to check for diabetes or to see if anyone has anything spreadable. I get that's she's just a baby, but no chances.” Liesel didn't feel bad about 99% of the things that came along with her responsibility in Alexandria but this was one of the 1%. 

Rick took Judith from Carl, holding her closely before nodding to her. He sat down on the cot next to his son, taking Judith's shorts off, leaving her in just her onesie. Liesel walked over to one of the shelving units, pulling out an alcohol swab, needle, and vial. She walked back over the family, Carl and Rick looking more anxious than the cooing baby. Liesel squatted back down, wiping the outside of the babies thigh down before blowing on it and quickly placing the needle in followed by the vial. Judith's cries echoed throughout the clinic as Rick tried to shush her, rubbing her hair down and cuddling her closer. Liesel tossed the gloves and alcohol swab away before getting a band-aid and sticking it onto Judith. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled staring down at the crying baby. 

“No chances, right,” Rick looked up at her as he rocked his daughter.

●●●●

Liesel had finished the medication list and rewrote it in priority and alphabetical order when Daryl walked into the clinic. His eyes were scanning the place, feet shuffling underneath of him. Liesel stood once he looked at her, pulling the last form of the day from her drawer.

“The illusive Mr. Dixon,” she smiled handing him the form. “If you follow me, I'll go ahead and get this done so you can get on with the rest of your night.” He grabbed the piece of paper, nodding at her once before following her to the back. She motioned for him to take a seat on the cot and handed him a pen. 

“Wha's this,” his voice was hoarse as he asked, like he smoked a pack and a half before he came in.

“Just a standard medical form,” Liesel pulled up the stool to the end of the cot, sitting down on it. 

He scoffed, reading it over before starting to scratch at the paper with the pen. Liesel watched his hands as they moved across the paper, pausing to read the next line then starting up again. There was dirt and most likely blood still caked under his nails and smeared along his skin. She figured he probably hadn't showered since they arrived yesterday. For some reason he didn't seem the type unless it was dire. Liesel smiled softly to herself before catching herself and letting her face fall back flat. 

“There,” he shoved the paper back at her, crumpling it where he held it. 

“Thank you,” she replied softly, taking the paper gently from his hands and setting it on the cot next to them. 

“Now what?” 

Liesel stood up, rolling her cart closer to the cot before sitting back down. “I'll just do a usual check-up.” He stared at her blankly. “What, never been to the doctors before,” she joked, at least it was meant to be joke.

“I ain't stupid, o'course I've been a doctor.” For the second time today, if looks could kill. 

Liesel sighed, placing her hands in her lap. “I didn't say you were stupid, Daryl. And if you had never been to a doctor,” which she highly doubted he had, “before that doesn't make you stupid. So, what I'm going to do is check your height and weight to add it to your medical record,” she motioned to the piece of paper on the empty cot before picking up the blood pressure cuff, “I'll use this to check your blood pressure,” she pointed to the small flashlight and tongue depressor, “these for your throat, ears, and eyes to check for an infection or hearing/sight loss, and then I'll need to take one vial of blood to run some tests on to see if you diabetes or anything like HIV-”

“Ya sayin' I 'ave AIDS.”

“Jesus Christ, Daryl,” she sighed again before scratching at her curls with her fingers, “I am not saying you have AIDS. I am saying that I am checking for things that could possibly lead to a much a bigger problem if we weren't aware of them.” Why the hell was she letting him get under her skin? 

They stared at each other for a moment before he looked away, picking at a hole in his pants leg. When she was certain he wasn't going to say anything else she asked him to stand to check his height and weight. They both remained silent for the rest of the check up, Liesel writing down numbers in between tests and Daryl staring at the floor. She had finished taking his blood when she noticed a small, angry looking circle between his thumb and forefinger. Liesel grabbed his hand, making him jump, bringing it closer to her face. Big enough for a burn. Setting it down next to him gently she stood up, throwing her gloves in the trash as she made her way to the counter across from the cot. 

She turned the warm water on in the faucet, filling a small bowl with it. Squirting a little bit of soap in the clean water she reached for a clean rag, walking the items back over to the cart. Daryl's eyes were trailing after her as she moved around the room making her anxious. She liked it better when he stared at the floor. She walked to her shelving unit, the one Pete is not allowed to touch, and pulled out the anti-bacterial cream and a q-tip making her way back to her stool. 

Dipping the towel in the soapy water Liesel picked Daryl's hand back up holding onto it by the fingers. She gently wiped at the burned area, cleaning any dirt and blood around it. Once she was done there was a visible circle of where she'd cleaned his hand making her chuckle as she reached for the rubbing alcohol and cotton. 

She tilted the bottle onto the swab, “This may sting,” before pressing it onto the burn. Daryl tensed underneath of her making her look up, his eyes watching her hands but face giving no sign of discomfort. Liesel pulled the cotton away, blowing softly at the wet surface making goosebumps pop along his arms. She didn't mention it. Placing his hand back down she reached for the cream and q-tip applying a small amount to the end before picking Daryl's hand back up. She rubbed the ointment over the wound, placing a band-aid on top. 

Liesel squeezed some extra ointment into a small container before handing it to Daryl, along with a dozen band-aids. “Make sure you keep it clean.” 

Daryl nodded before standing up abruptly, bumping into Liesel. “Sorry,” he mumbled walking out of the clinic making Liesel shake her head after him. 

“ _Men_.”


	4. Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so tired and had every intention of laying down when I got home but this is the fourth chapter I've had written and posted within my personal deadline so it is worth it. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for the kudos and bookmarks, you guys are amazing! Honestly, after every notification I got I stopped whatever I was doing and started writing.
> 
> Hopefully you will continue to enjoy and feel free to leave any constructive criticism!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead.

Liesel stared at the dark water of the pond as she sat on the blanket she had brought to keep the dew off, her legs stretched out in front of her and a cigarette dangling loosely from her fingertips. From what she could tell she was the only one still awake making everything fall into a soft coat of quietness that only the chirps of cicadas could break through. Quiet was something she'd been aching for all day, or would it be considered yesterday. She always questioned when a new day began; as soon as midnight hit or once you fell asleep? 

There wasn't anything in particular that made the day especially grueling, minus the minor brawl after Glenn, Tara, and Noah's test run, but it had drained the woman either way. Since they got back to Alexandria two days prior her head been filled with lists and numbers and medications and just like that the weight was back on her shoulders. She needed to make a point to get Deanna alone again and talk to her about making a specific run. 

The sound of feet on the sidewalk a few feet away brought Liesel back to her surroundings, turning her head towards the intruder. Daryl was walking down the street, coming from the direction of their houses, his crossbow slung over his back. It brought her back to hours ago when he had Nicholas pinned to the asphalt, arms straining to keep the man down. It was that moment when Liesel knew she was going to do everything she could to not get on the man's bad side. Maybe that's why she got the man's attention and called him over, ruining her quiet. 

“Want one,” she offered once Daryl got close enough, holding her pack of cigarettes up. 

“Ain't doctors supposed ta be agains' smokin'?” He took one anyways and Liesel stretched her other hand out, fingers brushing as he took the lighter. 

Liesel shrugged, “Figure cancer isn't the scariest way to go anymore.” She took the lighter back, setting it on top of her pack next to her on the blanket. Liesel turned her attention back to the water, watching small waves lap at the edge. “Sorry about Aiden and Nicholas.” 

She looked back at him when he didn't answer, wondering if he left without her hearing. He hadn't, just stood looking at her like he was trying to figure something out. It was a look she was used to. “Not yer fault.” 

“Still assholes.” She went to take a hit of cigarette but the cherry at the end had burnt out. Liesel reached for her lighter again, lighting the cigarette and taking a long inhale before fisting the lighter. “So what're you doing wandering around this late at night?”

“Could ask ya the same thing.” Liesel was a hundred percent sure he was better at avoiding questions than she was. 

She turned her head back towards him before answering, “Couldn't sleep,” and shrugging. Half truth. 

“Me neither,” he answered, flicking his cigarette. Half lie.

●●●●

She could count on one hand how many times she had worn a dress: her father's funeral, when her sister got her doctorate, her sister's wedding, and now, Deanna's Welcome to the Neighborhood party for Rick and Co.. She didn't want any part in two out of the four but, yet, there she was standing in her full length mirror staring at herself. Her blue eyes were surrounded by the ever-present dark circles and she had spent forty minutes trying to get her long, loose curls under control before giving up and throwing on the long, floral print dress that hung in the back on her closet. The sleeves came down just past her elbow doing well at hiding her bandaged shoulder she still hadn't told Deanna about, the bottom hitting her shins. She decided that was as much as effort as she was going to give.

Her bare feet slapped against the hardwood floor as she made her way downstairs, the sound of soft chatter floating through the opened windows in the living room and kitchen. She stifled a yawn as she bent down to pick up her sandals she kept next to her boots, sliding and fastening them to her feet. As soon as she woke up this morning she had regretted her late night excursion, the two hours of sleep she got just wasn't cutting it. Her intention last night wasn't to stay out there until three o'clock in the morning with a man she'd known for five days doing nothing but staring at water but it had been nice. She couldn't remember the last time she sat in silence with a person without feeling the urgency and need to fill it. 

Liesel grabbed a hair tie off the stand in the entryway and pulled it onto her wrist before leaving the house, shutting the door quietly behind her. She stopped by Aaron and Eric's, checking to see if Eric needed anything before heading to Deanna's. Aaron had asked her before leaving that morning if she could keep him company while he was out and she agreed. When Deanna came to the house Liesel tried to use it as an excuse to not go to the party but Eric had been a traitor and told them he didn't want to be a hindrance. She called it even for getting him ran over. 

When she walked into Deanna's she was greeted with the faces of some of Rick's group and a handful of Alexandria residents who were mixed together, chatting idly. She found Deanna talking to Rick with a glass of wine in her hand, eyes bright, and she felt slightly bad that she wanted to talk business. It needed to happen though. Liesel cleared her throat as soon as she got into hearing range making both leaders turn and look at her. 

“Well, don't you look magnificent,” Deanna said too loudly for Liesel's taste, her clear discomfort making Rick smile softly. 

“Wouldn't go that far, Deanna,” she forced a laugh before turning to Rick, “You clean up well, too, Special Officer Doofy.” Rick laughed this time making Liesel swell with pride. That group needed to laugh more and if Liesel saw the chance she was going to take it. “I need to talk to you, Deanna . . . about the clinic.” Liesel's eyes darted back and forth between the man and woman, trying to decide if she should continue here or wait for Deanna to lead her somewhere more private. 

“Go ahead, Dr. Madison, we have to show Rick there is no secrets here,” she smiled brightly, touching Rick's shoulder with her free hand before letting it fall back to her side. 

“Okay,” she said more to herself, “I was going through the list of medications the residents need and we're getting very low a lot of things, things that they _need_ , things like insulin and heart medications. I mean, yeah, the diabetics get first dibs on food but that's only going to help so much, Deanna.” 

Deanna watched her carefully for a moment, “So what are you suggesting, Dr. Madison?” 

“We need to go on a run-”

“And when you say 'we' I'm sure you mean yourself included,” Deanna arched her eyebrow, taking a sip of her drink while Rick watched the exchange.

Liesel sighed before continuing, “Yes,” she nodded her head, “I don't trust Aiden to know the difference between something we need and something that we could live without, even with a list.” 

Deanna looked to Rick then, eyes squinting as her brain tried to work up a way to get Liesel out of going, “What if it wasn't a run Aiden was in charge of?” Liesel's head snapped to Rick and back to Deanna. “How long before we absolutely need this to happen?”

They had two and a half vials and one pen left of insulin with five people sharing them, even if they have good days it wouldn't last long, “Pushing it, about a week-” 

Deanna nodded her head once,”I'll have a plan by the end of the weekend.” 

“Deanna-”

“Dr. Madison, I appreciate that you're doing your due diligence but you have to trust me. If you say we can survive a week without going on a run, we'll survive a week. We don't need to be taking chances if we don't have to.” Deanna finished the wine in her glass, setting it on the table next to her. “Now, please, try and have some fun,” she encouraged, reaching out her hand and rubbing Liesel's arm. Liesel stared at the spot Deanna had stood as the woman walked away. How they hell could she help these people if Deanna wouldn't give her the chance to?

“You're idea about the food, too?” She forgot Rick was standing with her making her jump when he spoke. Liesel nodded in return, looking at him. “Not pushing it, how long would it last?”

Liesel looked behind her to make sure Deanna wasn't lingering, for some reason answering Rick felt like she was betraying her. “Three days.”

●●●●

Crowds and limited spaces was never Liesel's thing. Even on holidays with her family she could only stand being in the house for so long before she snuck outside for a few dozen minutes to collect herself, breathing in the open space and taste of freedom. That was with people she knew, and this was definitely not people she knew. Yeah, she could recite their names and medical history if asked but didn't know them beyond that. The only two people she ever bothered to have an actual conversation with were either playing hunter in the woods or laying crippled in their house. She felt like an outsider.

Liesel leaned against the wall as she scanned the growing numbers of people. How long did she have to stay for it to be sociably acceptable? 

“Hey, beautiful,” Spencer Monroe leaned against the wall next to her, his tall frame casting a shadow on her. “What're you doing over here by yourself?”

“Being by myself.” The oldest of the two Monroe brothers wasn't actually bad to look at from a far, it's just when you get close enough to realize he made Aiden look like a saint. 

He licked his lips, shifting towards her slightly, “Mom sent me over here so can you please just appease her and act like you like me?” His eyes moved across the room where Deanna stood trying to pretend she wasn't watching the two. Liesel didn't understand why the woman wanted to play match maker with the pair even after she asked and got some sideways answer about ensuring the future. 

She shook her head, eyes going to the floor. “I'm running on about two hours of sleep, Spencer-”

“I get that,” no he didn't, “I just want to help us both get her off our backs for a little while.” 

Liesel leaned in closer to him, hiding her face from Deanna, “Did you ever think the reason I don't like you is because you _always_ hide behind your mother? Grow a pair, Spence, and they maybe we can try to _appease_ her.” 

She patted him on his chest before turning away and walking out the door. The air was still on the porch, no wind rustling the leaves or wind chimes Deanna had an obsession for. Completely calm. Breathing in deeply she sat down on the stairs, arms resting on her knees. 

“I know she can be pushy,” Liesel turned to see Reg sitting on the bench a few feet from her. “Trust me, I've been married to the woman for forty-two years. In the end she only wants what's best.” 

“She could learn new ways,” she retorted, watching the street. 

Reg chuckled, “I supposed that's also true.” Liesel was hoping he would leave it at that and let the conversation die out but he had other things in mind. “Do you remember when you first got here?”

“Reg,” her voice was tight, warning him to not go down that path. 

“I know you don't like talking about it,” _What gave you that idea?_ “and I will never presume to know what it was like out there for you.” _Then drop it._ “But when you got here, Liesel . . . I've never seen her react that way to anyone to come through that gate. You terrified her,” he paused for moment, letting out a soft sigh as he shifted the ice in his glass, “but all she wanted to do was help you. To show you not everything was lost. I think she forgets sometimes you're not the same person and she's still trying to show you that.” 

What she wanted to say was that she sometimes forgot that, too, and she knew how the older woman felt about her. Deanna had been overly motherly to her since she arrived and maybe when she first got to Alexandria it's exactly what she needed. Maybe if it hadn't been Deanna running the place she'd be something far worse than she was. 

What came out was, “Nobody's the same, Reg,” before she stood up, making her way to the sidewalk. She loved the way her mouth worked against her. 

Liesel reached the gate before the hair on the back of her neck stood up, stopping in her tracks. She watched as Pete strode towards the house, pushing her shoulders back and blocking his entry to the house. 

“You're not supposed to be here, Pete.” 

“My wife and kids are in there, like hell I'm not going in.” She could smell the alcohol wafting off of him even from the few feet that separated them. Maybe if he wasn't drunk all the time he'd be a decent person. Unfortunately maybe's didn't cut it anymore. 

“Pete,” she said firmly, making sure not to look away from him, “you know the rule. You get to stay here and you don't go near them.” 

Pete made a step toward her just as someone moved behind her. “There a problem?”

He shook his head angrily, glaring at Liesel as he spat, “No. No problem,” and turning away.

Liesel could feel her body slowly relax with every step that separated Pete from the house. “Thanks,” she turned around, looking up at Rick. 

“Wanna tell me what the hell that was about?” 

She shrugged, “Not really.”

“Liesel.” She could tell he was going to take this constable thing way to serious. 

“It's not my business to tell, Rick.” Half truth. “I'm gonna head home, just in case Deanna asks.”

Liesel turned with a wave, only getting a few feet. “You want me to talk you home?”

She couldn't help the slight laugh as she turned back to face him. “I'm fine. Pete lives at the opposite end.” Rick nodded, still not looking convinced but he let her go. 

It only took her two weeks after getting to Alexandria to figure out there was something going on with Pete and Jessie but she was new and had no proof. So it took her another two weeks to rile Pete up enough to take a swing at her in front of Deanna. The leader questioned the rest of the Anderson's afterward with Liesel by her side and they opened up like a flood gate. Well, Jessie and Sam did. Ron still looked at Liesel like she was the sole reason his family was ripped apart. Maybe she was but she couldn't bring herself to feel bad about. Pete was a monster and having an apocalypse version of a restraining order wasn't enough in her opinion. 

Once home, Liesel went room to room taking her time to close each window and locking it. When she felt secure enough nobody else was in the house with her and it was locked up tightly she began to relax. She grabbed her CD player off the shelf next to the TV and a handful of CDs before heading next door. 

“Honey, I'm home,” she called out, swinging the door open.

“In here!” Liesel followed Eric's voice into the living room, his foot propped up on the coffee table and a book in his hands. “Didn't expect you back so soon.” 

“Oh, yeah, I was gonna spend hours there,” she rolled her eyes as she sat the CD player and cases down. “I'm done with people.” Eric raised his eyebrows, waving his hands to his chest. “You aren't people.” 

“Aw, thank you,” he laughed as he shook his head. “You okay?”

“Peachy-keen.” Half lie. She smiled sitting down gently next to him, making sure not shift him. “How's it feeling?” 

“Like a sprained ankle,” he dead-panned, placing his book in his lap.

“I think you're spending too much time with me.” 

“Never!” 

Liesel moved over to the coffee table, bringing his foot into her lap as she examined it. The bruising was turning to a yellow-green color and the swelling had gone down the tiniest. It'd still be weeks before he'd be able to walk without the crutches but as long as he listened and stayed off it he'd be fine. She still wished he would've let her give him some more pain medicine though. 

“So what's the verdict, doc?”

Liesel sighed, rubbing the back of Eric's calf as she looked up at him. “Unfortunately the only thing left is to amputate.” 

“Damn it,” he shouted, slapping his book onto the free couch cushion. “I knew it! Do you think Aaron will still love me?”

She stood up, shaking her head grimly. “Probably not. As soon as he finds out he'll leave you for someone younger. Someone who can give him what he needs. Someone with two feet.” 

Yelping, she dodged the pillow going for her head, “Bitch.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Liesel picked up the pillow as she laughed, tossing it on the couch next to him. “I'm gonna start dinner, cripple. Mind if I play music?” Eric shook his head, smiling back at her. 

Leaving him alone in peace she grabbed the CD player and cases back up and headed to the kitchen where she hooked it up in her usual spot, the rich voice of Adele coming through within seconds. Liesel closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply and letting it out slowly, her hands holding her up against the counter. Nodding as she opened her eyes and putting her hair into a ponytail, she made her way to cabinets, moving around the kitchen with an ease of familiarity. 

After a few songs she heard the front door open and shut softly a few moments later. Her heart pounded as she waited for the steps to come into the kitchen but they never came. Another song down and she was able to relax again. If she had nothing else, at least she had friends who knew when and when not to push. Since her conversation with Reg she hadn't been able to stop the images flashing in her head like an old viewfinder and she hated it. She had gotten so good at making sure they only interrupted her sleep and now it felt like she was back at square one. 

Liesel poured the cooked pasta into the strainer in the sink, the steam stinging her hands and making them sweat. She gently sat the pan back on the stove, moving to the strainer and giving it a few shakes to get the water out before going back to her sauce. Cooking was something that had always helped her, ever since she could reach the stove. Aaron and Eric definitely didn't mind her taking over their kitchen from time to time. No, she couldn't make everything she used to but growing up the way she did definitely prepared her for cooking out of a can. It was something she actually prided herself on. Making something taste good that came from nothing. 

Aaron cleared his throat from the doorway making Liesel turn around, Daryl standing by his side biting at the edges of his thumb. “Daryl's joining us for dinner,” he explained and she nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the stove. 

“It'll only be a few minutes. You set the table for me?” She listened to the sound of Aaron move out of the kitchen, her body hyper aware that Daryl was left alone with her. Liesel shifted as she felt his eyes on her, maybe she'd prefer conversation. Half truth. 

She pulled out a spoon from the silverware drawer and dipped it into the pan, turning to face Daryl. “You should probably try it before you agree. Could be total garbage.” Liesel held it out slightly, her free hand hovering under it. 

Daryl dropped his hand to his side, shifting before moving towards her slowly. She reached her hand further out once he got within distance in a silent order to open his mouth. Liesel watched his eyes as listened, opening his mouth slightly so she could slip the spoon between his lips. Her eyes fell to his lips forming around the spoon as she slowly pulled it out and didn't look away until he licked the corner of his mouth. 

_10 out of 10 horrible idea, Liesel._

“So,” she asked staring at the spoon that had just been in his mouth. 

“It's alrigh'.” 

The corner of Liesel's eyes crinkled as she laughed, leaning against the counter. “I've had worse reviews.” She tossed the spoon into the sink, the sound of metal hitting metal echoing over the music.

●●●●

“How was the party,” Aaron asked as Liesel scooped spaghetti onto everyone's plate, saving hers for last. “Did you talk to Deanna about the run?”

“What run,” Daryl asked as she sat his plate down in front of him, pouring wine in his glass until it was half full. 

“Medical supplies.” She walked around the table, taking her place next to Aaron and across from Eric. “And yes I did. Told me to give her until the end of the weekend.” Liesel rolled her eyes, taking a drink of her water. 

“What medical supplies,” Daryl pressed making Liesel look to him, eyeing him up before answering. 

“Prescriptions,” Liesel picked up her fork, pushing the pasta around. “Aspirin, insulin, heparin, zoloft, lexapro. Probably could use some pain killers, antibiotics, and anesthetic, too, but I'm not gonna get too greedy.” 

“Why does she want you to wait?” Aaron wiped his mouth with his napkin as he asked. Liesel stared at him for a few moments before he nodded her head. “Got it.” Daryl looked between the two before looking down to his plate. “Can't say that I blame her on this one though, Lee.” 

“Excuse me?”

Aaron sat his silverware down, turning towards her slightly. “What is the closest hospital that we haven't already been to?” _D.C._.

“So we don't get there, we go to smaller towns. There's got to be some we haven't looked at.” 

“And what are the chances of that? What are the chances that we don't run into people out there?” 

“Last time I checked I was a grown ass woman and could make choices for myself.” Her voice was growing louder with each word, heat radiating off of her cheeks. 

“Guys,” Eric called from across the table bringing their attention to him and their guest. 

Liesel sighed, situating herself back into her seat. The conversation wasn't over but she'd drop it for now. Aaron picked his utensils up to continue eating. The only sound in the room was the soft croons from the kitchen and the sound of forks hitting the plates. Liesel continued to push the pasta around her plate trying to will herself into eating but her eyes kept darting to Daryl shoveling food into his mouth. Aaron and Eric looked at each trying not to laugh at the man but Liesel couldn't help it as he slurped in a noodle, the end hitting his nose. 

“Thanks,” his voice gruff as he wiped his mouth on his sleeves. 

“Just alright,” Liesel teased making him look at her as he picked up the napkin next to him. 

Eric went to take another bite as they continued to look at each other before turning to Daryl, “When you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker.” Daryl picked up his glass of wine, looking at the other man confused as he continued to talk. “And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it.” Liesel looked at Aaron to try to figure out what Eric was talking about but his eyes were glued to Daryl's face, trying to read him. “I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something. I really think she just wants something to about, so . . . ” Eric nodded, looking back at his plate, spinning the pasta back around the tines. “if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to . . .” Eric finally looked at Aaron, his sentence dragging out immediately as he took in boyfriend's face. “I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?” 

Daryl sat his glass down, everyone looking at each other waiting for Aaron to answer. He shook his head no and if Liesel wasn't still pissed at him she'd be dying from the look on his face.

“Ask me what?”

●●●●

Liesel sat on her porch steps with a cigarette pinched between her fingers again—she couldn't even remember the last day she went without one now. Between Deanna, the clinic, her brain, and sleep pattern it amazed her she was functioning at all.

Aaron and Eric's door shut making Liesel look into the yard next to her. “I hear congratulations are in order,” she called over. 

Daryl paused on the steps, it looked like he was trying to decide if crossing into her yard was a good idea or not. He eventually made his decision, walking over to her with his hands in his pockets. Liesel lifted her pack off the steps, tilting it towards him in what was becoming their usual greeting. 

“Wanna sit?” Liesel scooted closer to the edge of the steps, giving him enough room if he decided to take her up on the offer. “You excited?” For some reason she didn't want to sit in silence with him tonight. It'd been six days and he was still just as much mystery as he was the first time she saw him on the road. “I would be. I'd love to leave this place whenever I wanted to.” She flicked the ash from her cigarette before taking a quick hit and looking up at him. “I get why Deanna doesn't want me to go. Doctor's are a pretty hot commodity these days. I just . . .”

“Hate it,” Daryl sat down next to her, not close enough to touch but close enough she could feel the heat coming off of him. 

“Get antsy.” 

“That why ya were out there with them?” Liesel looked at Daryl for a moment before turning to stare at her cigarette, the paper slowly burning down. She felt like this was a test question. Not one where she was going to be judged for the answer but where it mattered if she bull shitted it or told the truth. She had always favored bull shit, the truth made her stomach knot and heart race so fast she thought she'd have a heart attack. 

But there was something about Daryl that she was slowly beginning to hate: he relaxed her so much it made her want to open up. Made her want to tell him everything from point a to point b. The nightmares that woke her up every morning at three thirty like her body just knew, could remember the exact moment her life went away. She wanted to answer any questions he'd throw at her, be brazenly truthful, because if there was one person Liesel would want on her side at the end of the world Daryl Dixon was it.

She licked her lips, tasting the words that wanted to spill out. “I, uh,” 

“Lee,” Aaron called as he walked closer to the pair on the steps, making her jump and move further away, almost falling off the steps. “Left your player.” _Could've just left it there asshole._

“Thanks,” Liesel stood up, tossing her butt into the yard and grabbing the CD player. 

Aaron looked to Daryl, still sitting on the steps, before back to her, “Have a good night.” 

Just like that he moment was gone and she felt like an idiot. Six days and she was ready to spew everything over a pair of nice arms and pretty eyes. “I should get some sleep.” 

“Yeah,” Daryl stood, tossing his cigarette in the direction she did. He was down her walkway before he turned back around, “I'm gonna talk ta Rick, 'bout yer run.”

“You don't have to,” Liesel took a step toward him before deciding against it. Staying put was better. 

“Kinda the job now, ain't it?”

Thing number two she was beginning to hate about Daryl Dixon, that fucking smirk. 

_Half lie._


	5. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished my outline for the story and man, when I tagged this slow burn I had no idea it was going to be that slow! There is plenty fluff planned to hold us all over until then though, mixed in with the tears, of course. Thank you for the continued kudos and comments, you guys are amazing! 
> 
> Enjoy and feel free to leave any constructive criticism!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead.

A soft breeze blew through the opened windows, lace trimmed curtains dancing freely along with the faint instrumental music. The day was a welcomed cool break from the otherwise scorching week giving most of the Alexandrians a reason to find things to do outside causing chatter to float through the lower floor of Liesel's house. The young woman was able to focus hard enough on the piano and her book to block out the voices but the rough sound of an engine turning over every now couldn't be ignored no matter how hard she tried. Maybe it was because the source happened to be a certain new comer that Liesel couldn't quite shake from her mind, or maybe it was the fact that it was so goddamn loud it made her jump on each turn. Either way it was pissing her off. 

Liesel slammed her book shut and tossed it on a pillow at the other end of the window seat before turning to close the window, the curtain immediately stopped once it was sealed shut. She huffed as she threw herself off the seat, feet slapping against the hardwood floor as she made her way to each window to close them. Deep down a part of her was happy that Aaron gave the bike to him, he sure as hell wasn't going to do anything with it and Daryl obviously knew what he was doing. But the much larger, active part of her wanted to go next door and trash the monstrosity so she could enjoy her one day off in peace. 

It honestly wasn't Daryl's fault she was in a sour mood, she blamed her head. Even if she closed her eyes now, seven hours after waking up, she still got flashes of expanses of skin and roaming hands. The dream felt like it had gone on for an eternity never actually concluding, only always vaguely innocent touching, before it was interrupted by her usual three thirty broadcast of bullshit. Maybe she was more pissed off at that. 

Sighing, Liesel leaned against the window frame and let her chin fall to her neck with her eyes closed. Silence. She waited a few more moments before pushing herself off of the window and headed back to her seat, book in hands. Liesel got ten pages into the newest addition to her library before the roar of the engine sounded making her jump. Liesel sunk down in the pillows, groaning loudly as her legs slid off the bench. _That's it._

Liesel pulled on her combat boots, book tucked under her arm, before stomping out of the house. When she walked past the open door of Aaron's garage she made sure to glare at the man inside before continuing to the gazebo on the other side of town. It had been two days since Deanna's party and she had done everything she could to avoid as many people as she could which meant spending hours at the clinic. The good thing about avoidance is you got stuff done. She finished the list of medical supplies Rick had asked for and the blood work of the fifteen new comers, everything coming back clean. Well, almost everything. 

Sitting down on the bench inside the gazebo, Liesel opened her book with both hands, resting the bound paper in her lap. Her shoulders and back stayed stiff until she was able to get twenty pages in without an engine interrupting her and only then did she allow herself to get comfortable. 

A few hours later the sun was high in the sun and her stomach was starting to rumble reminding her to eat. Liesel started for home before deciding against it and heading to the largest house in Alexandria. She didn't bother knocking, walking through the door and straight to the kitchen where Deanna sat at the bar reading over papers. Deanna looked up once Liesel walked in, setting the papers on the table before resting her elbows on the table. 

“When were you going to tell me that Daryl was going on a run for you?” 

“What,” Liesel stopped just as she got to the fridge, turning to the older woman. 

“Don't play coy, Liesel,” Deanna sighed as stood, “it never suit you.” She watched the young woman closely, her face telling her she really didn't know. Deanna shooed her to the table before opening the fridge. “Daryl left about an hour ago with a list that you made for Rick.”

Deanna and Aaron hadn't told Liesel of any recruiting plans in the recent future and Daryl had been working on that stupid bike since Aaron gave it to him yesterday non-stop. _'Not pushing it, how long would it last?' ' Three days.' 'I'm gonna talk ta Rick, 'bout yer run.'_

“I'm an asshole.” Groaning, she crossed her arms on the marble before burying her head in her elbow. 

Deanna chuckled as she started something on the stove. “I doubt that.” 

“Rick asked me at the party how many days we'd be able to make the medicine last and then I told Daryl about it and now he's out there and I'm in here and I've been ignoring him for two days.” The string of words came out of Liesel's mouth without her moving making Deanna have to strain to hear it. 

“I see.” Liesel could hear her moving around the kitchen more, the only smell was the distinct smell of Deanna—coffee, petunias, and new paper. She breathed in deeply through her nose memorizing the scent and locking it away in the corner of her mind she kept all things that relaxed her. Liesel startled when something was placed in front of her, sitting up her vision was slightly blurry in the corner of her left eye from resting her head on it. “How're you sleeping?”

Liesel shrugged as she picked up the spoon in front of her, stirring the oatmeal and dried fruit around. “Not horribly,” she took a bite, the oats sticking the top of her mouth, “not greatly, either.” 

“Hm,” Deanna watched her as she ate and if it had been anybody else it would've been weird. This was what Deanna did, ever since she met her. Just watched, trying to read her subject. “Why didn't you tell me about Rick?”

Liesel pushed her now empty bowl closer to the edge of the table before answering, “I don't know. Just, felt weird about telling him. I don't want you to think I'm going behind your back.” 

“I definitely don't like the fact that I gave you an answer and then you found someone else to give you the one you wanted, but,” Deanna sat down in the chair closest to her, her body turned towards her. “When you came here and you agreed to be a doctor you made me promise the I would do whatever I could to help you with the clinic. It was your one condition. No matter how many runs or resources, the clinic and food were tied for the most important things we needed to survive. Sometime recently I lost track of that and Rick and Daryl were able to pick of that slack.”

Liesel rearranged herself in the chair, pushing her right ankle under her left thigh. Honesty was the subject. “When Eric and I were in the town I had an accident. It's not serious. Just, like, road rash. It'll heal.” She lifted her sleeve up showing the older woman the bandage. 

“Thank you.” 

Liesel shot her a confused look while she pulled her sleeve back down, “For what?”

“Telling me.” Deanna beamed at her making Liesel roll her eyes. Not like she told her the cure for the goddamn world, just told her she got hurt. “So, tell me more about Daryl. I think you and Aaron are really the ones who have had the chance to interact with him.”

Liesel shrugged as she thought of the man and their few shared moments. “He seems decent, quiet. Really quiet, actually, so that's nice. Guarded.” 

“Sounds like you have some things in common.”

“That's about it, honestly. He knows how to survive out there. He'd be fine on his own but he chooses to stay with them.” Liesel thought back to the clinic, of how he jumped when she touched him but opted to not tell Deanna any of that. “I don't think he's used to people caring about him, or at least admitting they do, or accepting it. He's helping me and I haven't talked to him that much so he obviously is nice to, at least some extent. He'll be a great addition.” 

Liesel looked up at Deanna when she didn't say anything after she finished. She was giving the younger woman a look Liesel couldn't quite decipher. “You like him.” 

“What?” She could feel the burn of a blush start on her cheeks and move slowly down her neck. “No I don't.” 

Deanna shook her head, the smile not fading. “Yes you do, or at the very least you're starting to.” She reached across the small space between them and touched Liesel's arm lightly. “I never meant to push you and Spencer together so hard. For me, Reg is my sounding board, my voice of reason. He can talk me down from just about anything and keeps me level headed. He makes this world okay. I just wanted you to have something like that. If that something isn't my son, that's perfectly fine.” Deanna moved her hand to Liesel's chin, making the woman look at her. “You're still my family.”

●●●●

Liesel sat on the steps of the porch, Aaron pressed against her side. After eating dinner Eric quickly fell asleep on the couch while Liesel and Aaron cleaned up so the friends decided to go outside. She knew Aaron could tell she wanted to talk to him about something but wasn't to the point where he was going to push. He'd do it if he knew she needed it, but until then he'd just sit next to her and watch the clouds. 

“Thank you,” she whispered as she wrapped her legs around her knees, pulling them closer to her chest. Aaron hummed in response, not taking his eyes of the sky. She loved the man for knowing her so well and tried to recall if she ever told him that. “For being you.” 

“Don't know how to be anyone else.” The silence stretched out between them again before Aaron shifted, his legs bumping into hers. “Daryl and I are going out tomorrow. Deanna talked to me about it just before you came over. She said she's excited to see what he brings back.” 

Liesel nodded, biting at her bottom lip, teeth scraping off skin. “She told me I was her family earlier.” 

“And you don't want to be?”

“I don't know,” Liesel sighed, standing up and hopping off the steps. 

“Lee.” How could he say her name like that and make her want to tell him her deepest darkest fears? It's that tone that got her to tell him about her family, about D.C., about her sister. She hated that tone. 

“I have you, and by extension Eric. I mean, with you, I just blame it on shitty taste and desperate measures.” Aaron swatted at her arm, chuckling. “But with Deanna, she already has a family. Why does she want to add me to it?”

“Is it so hard to believe you're lovable.” 

Liesel laughed loudly, “Lets not push it, Aaron.” 

“Fine.” He patted the cement next to him inviting her to sit back down, she complied. “You've come a long way in a year, Lee, and there's only been two people you've let be there from day one; me . . . and Deanna. You've been family since the day you walked into her office, she's just now saying it out loud. You don't see her acting the way she does with you with Pete.” 

“That's because Pete's a drunk, Aaron.” 

“No, it's because she loves you.” 

The faint sound of a motorcycle sounded in the distance interrupting anything Liesel was about to say. She needed to apologize to the man, whether he realized she was ignoring him or not. Liesel doubted the main reason he fixed the bike was to help her, she wasn't that selfish or self-centered, but it seemed like it played a part. Why else would going on a run for her be the first thing he did when he finished the bike? 

“I think I'm going to invite Daryl to game night.” Liesel watched Aaron's face as the cogs turned in his head and realization shown in his eyes before he shut it down. She knew he wouldn't say anything. Nobody gets invited into her house, even before the world stopped. “Gonna go meet him at the clinic.” Aaron nodded slightly as she stood and head down the walkway. 

The sun had set and Daryl was already parked out front when Liesel reached the clinic. He leaned against the bike, cigarette smoke billowing from his mouth and nose, and Liesel had to suppress the urge to hug him. Daryl unhooked two bags from the sides once he saw her, tossing his cigarette into the road before making his way to her. 

“Hopefully got the righ' stuff.” Liesel eyed the two bags and the way his arms strained holding them. Whatever it was, it was a lot of it. 

“We'll see,”she smiled as she led him up the walkway, taking the key off she wore around her neck and opening the door. 

Liesel led the way to the back room, past the offices and room with the cots to where they kept stock, flipping light switches on as she went. Daryl followed, setting the bags on the small table next to the door. The room was filled with shelves, binders, and a small fridge in the back corner under a window, the only light coming from a small lamp on the table Liesel turned on.

Daryl stood in the doorway taking in the bare shelves. “Not much in here.”

Liesel nodded, unzipping the closest bag to her as Daryl handed her the list she gave Rick. Creases littered the paper from where it had been folded and refolded, marks she assumed were made by Daryl as he checked them off next to the items.

“Wanna help me?” She opened the front drawer on the table, pulling out a pen and new piece of paper. 

Daryl shrugged, “Sure.” 

“I'll be right back.” 

Liesel left the room, going to grab two chairs but deciding to go to her desk instead. She opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a granola bar and couple packets of trail mix and heading back to the chairs. The chairs bumped against the door, making it slam loudly against the plaster as she tried to wheel them in the right direction. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, pulling the other chair behind her into the room. Liesel sat down at the side of the table furthest from the door, placing the food on top of the bags. “Figured you would be hungry. Not much, though.” 

Daryl nodded to her as he pulled his chair to the side closest to the door before sitting down. “Thanks.” 

“So, I'll tell you what these are and you can write them down,” she placed the paper and pen on top of the bags, next to his food, “and then you can help me count.” 

Daryl nodded in response, grabbing the food, paper, and pen off the bags before Liesel moved them to the ground next her. She took her time taking the bottles out of the first bag, reading the name off before telling him what he's used for. He huffed as he tried to figure out how the medicine was spelled while she smiled. 

“You can just write what it's for.” He looked at her, pen stopped.

“Ya sure ya want my help, don't seem like I'm doin' much.” 

“Nonsense, just put like, heart or pain, and then we'll go from there.” 

They continued like that until they were done with the first bag, her reading off what the medication was for, him scribbling it down, both counting, her stocking. The pair was done in the amount of time she would've gone through less than half of the bag if she was doing it by herself. Liesel yawned, bringing her hand to cover her mouth and decided it was a good time for a break. Daryl stood heading outside for a smoke, Liesel following behind. He held out his pack of cigarettes and she shook her head. It'd been the first day in forever she'd gone a whole day without a cigarette, she wasn't going to ruin it now. 

“Aaron gave me a container 'fore I left, said to the put the insulin in it.” Daryl inhaled his cigarette, standing at the foot of the steps with his free hand in his pocket. “It's in the nex' bag. Put as much as I could fit. 'Bout thirteen vials and five of those pen things.” 

The urge to wrap herself around the man was back. He said it like it was no big deal, like he didn't just single-handedly ensure a group of people their survival. 

“Where?”

“There's an ol' folks home not far from 'ere,” Daryl flicked his cigarette turning to look at her. “Surprised yer boys couldn' find it.” 

“Probably didn't try very hard.” 

Daryl scoffed, butting his cigarette on the railing. “I'll go back when I get the chance, try ta get the rest.” 

“There's more?”

He nodded in response, heading up the steps and into the clinic. Those runs that Aiden went on, she knew they didn't try much but this was pushing it. How much is out there and how much bullshit had Liesel been fed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally supposed to be longer and expand another day but I added the scene at the end since Daryl is going to be MIA with Aaron for a chapter or two. Good thing about this being a shorter chapter is I got it done early enough I'll be able to start the next chapter today! 


End file.
